Your wellbeing

During the first few months following the birth of your child, you and your partner will be fully occupied trying to adjust to new changes in your lives. It is crucial that you take care of your mental health during your partner’s pregnancy and in early parenthood. For some couples, stepping into parenthood brings about many emotions that range from love and happiness to frustration. Some fathers may feel that once they become a parent they’re trapped and have lost their old life and self. But along with that may come the feeling of guilt, where dads think they might not be doing a good job.

Taking care of yourself is essential. Try to set aside some time for yourself where you engage in activities you enjoy such as exercising, practicing hobbies, and relaxing.

All the changes that accompany pregnancy and early parenthood may lead to emotional distress and/or mental healthproblems. You may experience a variety of emotions and your experience may be different to your partner’s. You should recognise emotional changes early on so you can seek help and address the issue as soon as possible.

Expanding your social network to include friends who have similar experiences can help you form a great support system. Being a new father can be an opportunity for you to make friends with other fathers who you might meet when going to parenting classes, social gatherings, day-care or community centres.

Lack of sleep can be very debilitating, especially for working parents who are the main income earners for the family. If lack of sleep is interfering with your work, talk to your employer and try to manage your work schedule to suit your family life by proposing to your employer to accommodate more flexible working arrangements.

See https://healthyfamilies.beyondblue.org.au

It’s OK to ask for help!

It is okay if things do not go the way you planned or expected. If you are experiencing challenges or difficulties as a parent, it’s OK to reach out for support. There are numerous services that can help you and your family to help sort out different issues, ranging from parenting advice to settlement services. Check the ‘Find services and information’ section to identify relevant support services in your area.

Many service providers use professional and confidential interpretation services that are usually free of charge for clients. If you need interpretation services, ask the service provider, and don’t request friends or family members to interpret. Never ask children to interpret.

Dealing with stress

Stress is a common and normal reaction that humans experience in response to a change or exposure to a new situation. Stress may be heightened during the period following childbirth. There are many ways that can help manage your stress:

• Checking in: Regularly check-in with yourself and your partner. This simply means taking a bit of time every day to ask yourselves how you’re doing. One way to help remind you to check in with yourselves is by associating the act with a certain activity that you do daily. This way you’re more likely to check-in consistently and can recognise when you’re stressed.
• Acknowledge the causes leading to your stress, and how your body responds to it both physically and emotionally. What can you do to change this? Try regular, gentle physicalexercise, considered vital to maintaining mental health and reducing stress.
• Developing skills that help you support yourself and respond to stress in a way that reduces the intensity of your emotional and physical reactions to stress will make a huge difference in your general wellbeing. Don’t focus too much on the negative and try to remind yourself that stress is a part of life.
• Stress related to previous life experiences may combine with the stress of becoming a new father. You may also be concerned about the health and safety of family and friends that you left abroad when you moved here. If your stress is related to past experiences such as a loss or trauma, know that there are specialist services available to provide support and help you in your journey to recovery.
• Check Beyond Blue’s stress test for new dads if you are not certain whether what you’re going through after becoming a dad is a normal response.
• Read about dealing with stress on the MensLine or Panda website.
• Talk about how you are feeling with other adult family members or friends. Recognise how this stress affects you and your parenting role.

Seeking help is OK. In fact, it is often better to recognise that you are having difficulty with stress in order to seek help from a health professional or counsellor.

If you need to talk, contact MensLine Australia on 1300 78 99 78 or chat online.